Can’t find TP at the grocery? This cake will NOT solve that problem for you, but it might make you and your family laugh- and that counts for a lot right now!
Well, here we are. About a month into this craziness called Coronavirus. First of all, for my readers and fellow bakers that have been directly affected by this pandemic- hugs to you. We all have been affected to some degree, but some of you have been ill with it, had family ill with it, and maybe even lost someone close to you. My husband and I were just talking about how numbing the numbers are each day. We keep saying things like, “oh- look only 14 deaths in our state today!” And then we remember that those 14 people were deeply loved members of families, and it hits home. This recipe is fun, and maybe even funny, but I don’t want to make light of the terrible situations that many of you are living through right now.
Just a month ago, my husband and I celebrated our one year anniversary with a long weekend trip to Florida. We had a wonderful meal at a beach-side restaurant and walked the beach afterwards, picking up seashells. Yesterday was exactly one month later and it felt like 5 months had passed. So much has changed in one little month! I knew I wanted to make a cake for my hubby for our 13 month celebration (we celebrate everything!) and this little TP cake- celebrating a whole month of TP concern- made us both smile. 
Here’s the deal: I am NOT(!!!) a cake decorator! I cannot even frost a layer cake without it looking super homemade. Cupcakes? Yes. Cake? NO WAY. So I thought about just trying to frost the cake and adding the little cut-out for the center of the roll, but when it was all finished the frosting looked terrible. I’d made fondant for the little grey circle on top, so I rolled the rest of it out, cut it to the height and circumference of the cake, and slapped it on the outer edges. It looks messy- but in a genuinely toilet-papery kind of way 
How’d I make the pattern on it? While sewing masks earlier this week, I caught a glimpse of my pattern marking wheel
The cake is coconut, with toasted coconut filling (YUM!!)- but you can use any flavor or type of cake with this. Here is how I did mine:
INGREDIENTS: (cake/filling)
- 1 white cake mix (with water, oil and eggs to make according to box)
- 1 cup of toasted coconut
- 1 stick of butter, softened
- 1/2 cup powdered sugar
- 2 teaspoons coconut flavoring
- About 1/2 cup cream of coconut (optional- just makes cake moist and adds more flavor)
DIRECTIONS: (cake/filling)
Make cake according to package and bake in three 6″ pans according to package.
Remove cakes from pans and cool completely.
Place butter, powdered sugar, and coconut flavoring in a mixing bowl and beat on high until light and very fluffy (about 2 minutes).
Fold in the toasted coconut and set aside.
When cakes are cool, place one on serving plate and drizzle with cream of coconut.
Top this with 1/2 of the filling mixture and spread to edges.
Repeat this with the next layer, and set cake aside.
INGREDIENTS: (frosting)
- 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter (softened)
- 1/2 cup Crisco
- 1 tsp clear vanilla (or any flavoring you might want!)
- 4 c. powdered sugar
- 1 Tablespoon of half-and half cream.
DIRECTIONS: (frosting)
Beat together butter, Crisco and vanilla with a mixer until smooth.
Add powdered sugar gradually and mix until combined and a little crumbly.
Add half and half cream and mix on low. You might need to add a little more until frosting is a thick but smooth consistency.
INGREDIENTS: (fondant)
- 4 cups mini marshmallows (half of a 16 oz. bag)
- 4 cups powdered sugar- plus a little for dusting.
- 2 tsp water
- 1/2 teaspoon of clear vanilla
- black gel color to make center of roll
- brown gel color if you want to add a poo or two
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DIRECTIONS: (fondant)
Place your mini marshmallows and water into a large mixing bowl and microwave on high for about one minute- until they are puffy and melted.
Stir them together with a rubber spatula until they are completely smooth (if not melted completely, put them back in the microwave on high for 5-10 seconds).
Add clear vanilla and mix well.
Add about 1/4 of the powdered sugar, stir until smooth, add another 1/4 and stir. It will become difficult to stir and very sticky.
Pour the rest of the powdered sugar onto a clean counter or cutting board.
Scrape the sticky fondant mixture out of the bowl and onto the powdered sugar and begin to knead it together with clean (powder sugar coated!) hands. It will gradually become like a smooth clay consistency. Use a metal scraper
This can now be colored with gel, rolled out and cut, or stored (tightly wrapped) in the fridge for about one week. Want a picture tutorial of this process? Check out this post.
Assembly: (the fun part!)
Use the frosting to place a thin, smooth layer over the entire cake. Let this harden a bit while you prepare your fondant.
Color a small ball of fondant a grey color. Roll this out on a clean and powder-sugared counter and use a small circle cookie cutter to cut the center of the roll out. Set aside.
Roll the remaining white fondant out into a large flat rectangle. Measure your cake height and circumference and then trim the rectangle into this size using a ruler and knife. I made mine a tiny bit longer so it would drape off the end like TP does.
Frost the cake again with a thicker layer, making sure it is as smooth as possible. Gently fold the fondant strip a couple of times so it is easier to handle, and then carefully press it against the sides of the cake, lining the top edge up with the top of the cake. Once you are all the way around, gently lay the extra across the front and on the plate. Mine wasn’t even close to perfect- it was bumpy, and wrinkly. Normally, I would smooth this out, but I left it because it looked more like TP — all messy!
Place the grey center on the cake’s top, and use a toothpick to draw a spiral in the frosting out from the center to the edges.
Finally, (if you have one!) use a pattern marking wheel
I had extra fondant, so I colored it brown, rolled it into a little poo and added it to the side of the cake- with a little flag. Then, I stepped back and laughed. Which was good for my soul
My thoughts: There are ways to make this easier. You could buy fondant
Enjoy! ~r
Other fun baking ideas for your shelter-in-place time:
